KFU psychologist told what a competent parent should be

The science fiction writer Stanislav Lem in the novel “Return from the Stars” describes the future of human society, in which the birth and upbringing of children is allowed only if the future parents have high qualifications, comprehensive training and even special education.

Lem writes: “... in the old society it was impossible, for example, to build a house, a bridge, treat illnesses, perform administrative work without having the appropriate education, and only the most responsible business - giving birth to children, shaping their psyche - was left to the blind “chance and momentary desire, and society intervened only when mistakes — if they were made — were too late to correct.”

If in the "ideal society of continuous harmony" Lem became natural to pass something like exams to obtain permission to have a child, then nowadays psychologists are puzzled by the education of a "competent parent".

Inna Krotova, Associate Professor of the Department of Psychology and Pedagogy of Special Education of the Institute of Psychology and Education of KFU, explained that parental competence is, first of all, literacy in matters of education, development, upbringing of her child.

 - The incompetence of parents in the upbringing, education and development of children is a public problem. Often, parents do not know about the age-related mental characteristics of children, trying to get ahead of the development of the child. The crisis period in many cases also does not pass without a trace.

The expert is sure that at present, the problem of the level of parental competence as a factor in the psychosocial well-being of children in the family environment is becoming especially important, as it is one of the most important components of the state policy of preserving the health of the nation.

In modern conditions, the family is experiencing serious difficulties: there has been a tendency to increase the number of dysfunctional families, there is a shift in moral values ​​and orientation, an increase in spirituality. The severity of the situation is determined by the fact that the material and psychological difficulties experienced by the family have led to the emergence of new problems related to family education, violation of child-parent relations.

 - But the family cannot be replaced by any educational institution. She is the main educator. A more influential force on the development and formation of the personality of the child does not exist. It is here that the foundations of a social “I” are laid, the foundation of a person’s future life.

The expert notes that the Internet contains a huge amount of information about children of the new generation, which creates the illusion for parents of complete awareness of the process of education and interaction with children.

- Why an illusion? Because this is only primary knowledge: a description of the space in which we live, but not knowledge of what can and should be done with these capabilities and what it will lead to.

The psychologist notes that most parents are stuck at the level of familiarizing the child with the world and creating favorable conditions for him to live: providing food, clothes and gadgets ...

- This “stuck” is due to the gap between generations: parents are modern, and their values ​​in the Soviet and post-Soviet space, the inertia of thinking is very great. Often, parents simply do not know how to communicate with their children. Only the way their parents used it is available to them. And it can be completely ineffective. And for modern children, the adoption of the full values ​​of a bygone era is fraught not with development, but with stagnation and confusion.

Who is a modern competent parent? One that has no problems? Or the one who has the perfect obedient excellent student? If this definition is considered correct, then we must admit that we are all bad parents. And who will like it ...
- Experts nevertheless define a competent parent as establishing a confidential contact with a child, learning how to feel his condition, understanding and knowing how to accurately determine the actions necessary for the child, self-confidence and their actions. A competent parent understands that in order to change the child’s development in a more favorable direction, you need to change yourself, try, look, in general, learn.

Parental competence develops under the influence of the entire social environment and depends on the experience, habits and character of each family member.

According to I. Krotova, the task of the teacher-psychologist is to help to form parental competence through conversations, consultations, parent meetings.

- Active communication with specialists unites the family and the professional community around solving the problem of the child, provides knowledge and experience. Interaction with various social structures expands the boundaries of the family's capabilities, stimulates activity, and provides social and personal awareness of parents.